time slice my mind piece by piece

http://ersamson.mamimili.com

this is my new blog site, feel free to visit it :)

yes, sablay grammar, pero wala na akong paki

it has been a very long journey from me... i entered the ateneo in 2001, failed my freshman year in the ateneo, got kicked out, enrolled in ama, stayed there for one year, returned to the ateneo to be readmitted, standards commitee let me in

i'm just happy today, you know, i can't explain my gladness, the genuine happiness i feel, feeling accomplished? di ko rin alam... grabe... i never thought i'd reach this point... yes... i got the freaking ateneo diploma... hehe! [well sa november pa ata lalabas haha]

wait... i really feel very sad, i'm going to miss those freakin' friends of mine... my gad. i'll really miss the "pogi istayl" of borgy, teddy's "silent" goofyness, mia's boyishness, caguioa's witty remarks, hardey's funny sarcasm, lorlynn's wisdom, lihan's fake-ness, zippy's tsismis, punzki's 1337 programming skillz, prach's unpronouncable surname, perci's sensitivity, jairus's 3D designs, toppy's C programming prowess... [TO DO]

i'll really miss BS CS, the cramming (or the thrill-seeking), the inside jokes, the speculations and tsismis, the laughters, yes sa hirap at ginhawa, the "paninilip", the sight-seeing, the sources ... f*ck, i'll really miss everything, honestly, my college life was really my most memorable "schooling" thing, i really love this batch, because i was a nobody (returning to Ateneo, also as a nobody), and they made me someone, someone special in their eyes, yes, probably di naman sinasabi ito, or nag aassume lang ako... pero somehow what's more important is that they've changed and molded me into what i am right now, and i am proud of who i am, yes, they accepted me as who i am, and for that i am really grateful

i'm not yet done with this entry, it is still a "work" in progress, i'll try to finish this, sorry sa mga di ko pa na-memention, i'll mention you guys sometime... wag kang magtampo :P to be continued

here here! malapit na pasko :) i had a bad day yesterday after the 'so-called' christmas party sa office ng dad ko, its not yer typical office ok? hehe, and naawa ako sa mga kapatid ko, kasi na bore dun, wala naman silang magagawa dun e, chaka ano yung handa? pancit, isa pang viand, at balot (ito lang siguro nagustuhan ko) hahaha!

ayos lang... pero alam mo yun? i'd rather celebrate christmas with family members, most of them were strangers, and i don't want to see them, since kinukunsinti nila tatay ko (i've got a feeling that my dad has a 2nd wife and children, damn) wala naman silang magagawa, kasi boss nila tatay ko, so oh well

kanina some close family members were here :) but the party is tomorrow pa! hahaha! so, tomorrow i hope i'll be celebrating a more 'genuine' christmas celebration, and sa 26th, i hope makapunta ako sa parang reach-out thing nila april sa bundok, ayon, i think we'll just facilitate the christmas card making thingies :) kaya ayon

cheers! have a blessed christmas :)

christmas of 2005, it is kind of funny, but to tell you, my faithful readers the truth, i feel christmas, i am kind of excited by it, i am very glad cuz i feel the 'christmas spirit', i suppose the last time i felt this "energy was when i was young, i suppose 8 years old? i just remember the 'kind of' warm fuzzy feeling when i'm sitting on the sofa beside the christmas light laden christmas tree, with lots of gifts around it, i just feel the wonder of the occasion.

this time its different, i'm a lot older, and ever since, i felt that christmas was just another holiday for me to bum around, i was just numb, walang paki, pasko. i suppose i'm having this feeling because, i don't know, i mean, my mom is not around (and i would not be able to see her) this christmas [yeah, my fucking lying stupid dad is still keeping her out, and trying to file an annulment], i also have lots, loads of school work [thesis included], my being a prick, ewan ko, pero masaya ako ngayong pasko

siguro, may nahanap lang akong mas maganda, mas malalim, mas sapul sa puso, kumbaga, di ko mapinta kung ano talaga, di ko masabi kung ano, pero parang dumapo na naman yung 'kaligayaan' o 'kagaanan' ng loob, hindi dahil sa regalo [feeling ko wala pang nakalapag sa ilalim ng christmas tree], hindi dahil sa mga meron ako, sa palagay ko, masaya ako ngayon dahil maraming tao sa paligid ko na mahal ako, masaya ako kahit papano, alam kong andito ang pamilya ko [lalo na ang minamahal kong nanay, andito siya sa puso naming magkakapatid], masaya ako dahil alam kong anjan si april amador, masaya ako dahil maraming bagay sa mundo na maaring makapagpasaya sa iyo, hindi dahil sa mamabaw ako, pero may magagandang bagay pala ang nangyayari kahit na magulo ang lahat, masaya ako dahil nabuhayan ako nang bagong pag-asa, pag-asa.

maligayang pasko mga kaibigan, sana, kayo rin, maging masaya :)

some people call me a big baby, and i am gaddam proud of it! i'd rather be like this than to pretend that i am someone else, to pretend to act and do things to be noticed by others, to socialize without showing a piece of me, or to put a facade on myself to make myself more impressive or *cool*, i'd rather be true and genuine, and be ridiculed about it -- since that is who i am, i am me. i may be a really big jolly baby, but at least i remain, i remain me.

and in line with this thought, i also admire those people who also remain true with themselves :) i hope you guys, even if society bears down on you, you remain as yourselves, be true, or as the Royal Tru Orange saying goes, "Magpakatotoo ka (mehn) !" :)

hrm... yesterday, i didn't listen much to vidal's lecture, lol, boring e, don't get me wrong, i heard him at least :P di lang na-retain sa utak ko yung mga stuff lol... but i'll review the slides, don't worry group mates, and kasama ko naman si hardey dun e, so ano nga ba ang mga pinaggagawa namin, hardey and i wrecked havoc upon the poor linux users lol, i was killing their processes (or creating infinite processes) lol, hrm.. bakit plural, him lang pala, i was "DoS"-sing William Yu, lol, though he thwarted most of my attacks (or all of it), malamang, CNG consultant yun, ano ba ang laban ko... it was fun while it lasted, he was "being kind", he wasn't retaliating or what have you, he just "defended", and did it impeccably, like a Systems and Network Admin should :) oh btw, i stopped only two attempts, di ko alam kung nakailan si hardey lol

galing :) and balita ko kinasal daw si wyu over the semestral break, congrats mehn :)

*sigh* to think may "networking certificate" ako... shet... failed... i failed fixing my gf's internet, actually, dapat hindi mag-fail di ko alam kung bakit, kasi when i pressed reset, after i committed my first mistake, naayos, so i felt much more confident, kahit magkamali ako ulit... i could always utilize the "reset" button, unfortunately, the 2nd time i went wrong, ayaw na :( the stupid router set itself to 0.0.0.0! di pwedeng connectan yan e! shet! default amputa, 0.0.0.0! tangang pldt, (they have this dsl modem with 4 port switch router) dapat default na nila yung 192.168.1.1!! oh well, *shame*

utter failure.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow, kasi walang theo :)

monday ngayon... yeah... i'm sick... well i feel sick, i have ubo't sipon, i think since saturday or friday, but i had a really sore throat since wednesday or something... oh well... i hope i get well soon, nakakapagod ito e, chaka nakakaubos ako ng isang roll ng tissue kada 12 hours... hahaha... except pa jan, sumasakit/kumikirot yung ulo ko, more like utak ko, hahaha! sinusitis? dunno, but i want to sleep!

lintek yung HS na kapatid ko, ateneo rin, kaso bagsakin si loko, kelangan niya nang mataas na grades (QPI) to pass the year, kelangan niya ata ng B+ or very high B sa history to pass the subject (shame, cuz history is one of my better subjects, in fact favorite ko pa) and kailangan na niyang magpagupit, cuz it's messing up his APSA (Associate Principal for Student Affairs) conduct grade, oh well, his chances of passing? medyo mababa kasi, hindi na siya nagpagupit last weekend, wala pa siyang ginawa, well meron naman pala kasi pinag-aral ko siya ng history pati ng math... nakakafrustrate kasi tinatamad lang talaga siya... oh well, bahala siya, he's wasting a lifetime opportunity, wala e, kahit akong pangaral namin di naman gumagana... paiba-iba pa ng approach, and my sister is hella angry at him... oh well

right now, i'm waiting for april, matatapos class niya at 10:20, that's actually a few minutes from now :) i won't be going sa Kaingin MUSMOS game later, may sakit ako e, sana manalo kami, kasi kung hindi, leche sila hahaha! after not going the distance in the IAC season, i hope some of my players in the MUSMOS team would step up, come out of their *shells* and just play basketball!

deadlines for the week that i know of, i have a long test on philo 104 on thursday, in one of the articles and i need to pass a resume, and the problem here is that i do not know how to make one, i need to hussle, hahaha, well more like copy another's resume's format :) sana wala nang masyadong gawin, hassle e... chaka nakakatamad na, kasi siguro kakagaling ko lang sa 1 week vacation haha! T-TH lang classes ko kasi, e walang pasok nung thursday haha! well, pumapasok pa rin ako ng mwf-s para samahan si april hehe

other news/online games, Yahoo! NBA fantasy, my team is currently last place, puro injured e, oh well, probably i'm cursed in terms of Basketball, hehe! Utopia, my province currently has more than 700k networth (it could've been a million now if i hadn't stopped exploring for the sake of the whole kingdom), and we're having a war, we're losing actually (or 37% winning, optimistic perspective), i just gained more than 500 acres in the duration of the war, but my kingdom is losing about 600-1000 a day! damn, i hope we win the freaking war, or my kingdommates would just explore and grow like hell than waging war on rival kingdoms :) my favorite PC game (i don't have *recent* consoles) right now is Age of Empires III, though i only have the trial version for now :)

i'm planning on changing my journal layout very soon, probably during the christmas break kung sinpag-sipag ako! haha! kaso tamad ako, so malamang walang mangyayari, so here's today's news (i'll try to update my journal as often as possible people! if there are readers :P)

thanks for reading, malamang ikaw lang nagbabasa nito, i love you so much b!

i haven't been writing... this sem has been really hectic... oh well... and it is getting more stressful by the minute...

my stuff to do list:

1. finish report on theology for tomorrow
2. finish a computer graphics project for tomorrow
3. finish a flash computer project for friday
4. finish a calculator (with grammar) computer project by next week
5. finish a parser for our lexical analyzer by next week
6. finish an "astig" flash project by next week
7. finish a "neat" computer graphics final program by next week
8. finish a 3-page paper regarding European films
9. study for the impending final exams two weeks from now

well... konti pa lang siguro toh :D this list will be updated... hopefully i would be able to finish these, before the due dates... (except the parser... mahirap yun e) well... wish me luck :D

Last wednesday, i didn't even go to class, it was the supposed "practice" day today's event -- "Fastest Geek", the "game" is simple, build a computer (from scratch), turn it on, and voila!

Today, i participated in the contest, i was not prepared, though i researched so many things so i would know what to do "in theory". My friends (namely John Eric Sy and Vincent Gerard Tan) and i lost the contest. But we came so close in winning it, probably another 30 seconds would do.

That makes the contest frustrating.

"At least you participated...", said a friend, and "I'm proud of you" said my girlfriend. Thanks, thanks again for encouraging me, i am thankful of the people around me, who support me in my endeavors. I am happy, not because i got a "goody bag" as a "consolation prize" but because God's most precious gifts to us -- our friends.

i just finished reading Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince last night... i was saddened

( spoiler warning )

oh crap, i just "maxed out" my yahoo mail filters [15/15]!

ah, tinamad lang ako magsulat recently... ngayon feel ko lang magsulat... siguro dahil stressed at antok sobra... hehe! dami masyadong school work

Th141 orals, CS130 longtest, Ph103 quiz, th141 longtest, com115.5 paper... not bad... for the week ito :D next week i have cs179.11 project and ph103 longtest :D last week i had just 1 longtest... i suppose yun lang ata... sa history pa ata yun hehe [oh and a paper sa com115.5] :D haay kakatamad...

... shet graduating na pala ako. sasabak na ako sa mundo ng mga trabahador, shet! tanda ko na, pero parang wala pa rin akong alam sa mundo! hahaha! oh well... sana matutunan ko na ang mga bagay-bagay bago ako makapagtapos sa colegio :D

hrm... parang nararamdaman ko na rin yung naramdaman ni Jose Rizal nung bago siya barilin sa Bagumbayan, oo nga, marami akong masasayang mga alaala sa eskuwelahan ko ngayon [from prep to college ba naman e] :D

hrm, wala akong maisip na subject, sana mabasa mo! i'm in school right now, haay, tinatamad akong mag-commute pauwi (since umuulan) at tutal pwede namana ko sumabay sa kapatid kong HS, 6pm pa siya kasi may parang ORG FAIR thing, oh well, kakatamad, napapagod na rin ako, hirap mag-aral! (pero mas mahirap atang magtrabaho) lalo na sa unibersisdad na toh, hehe! pero kahit na mahirap, nag-eenjoy naman ako kahit papano, yun nga lang, pana-panahon parang nakakapagod lang, tulad siguro ngayon, minsan mas gusto ko na lang matulog sa bahay (at mag-asal baboy) tipong tulog kain lang ginagawa, whattalife! yahoo! i dont enjoy going out much anyway, unless kasama ko si april (dabyu b!) :D ayon, on average, i reach home at around... 530pm! on average i reach school at around 5:50am!!! so parang i'm attending a 12 hour class! hehe! well kalat at sabog breaks ko, pati nakikisabay lnag ako sa kapatid ko sa umaga kasi ayaw kong mangamoy "usok" kapag nag-kokomyut hehe! mas matagal na ata akong nasa school kaysa sa bahay, haha! i'm a hardcore homeboy junkie! grabe lamig dito sa open lab ng Faura Hall, brrrrrrrrrrr! di ko pa ma-install yung YM! di kasi admin yung account dito sa WinXP hehe! buti na lang may GAIM 1.3.1 astig :D well continuous lang yung pagtype ko ngayon... i'm typing what i'm thinking, kakatamad (shikamaru-style! if you can relate) haaaaaaaaaaaay! kanina ganda ng lecture sa Philo 103 ko, about sa Existentialism, Sartre bla bla! medyo astig pala yung existentialism hehe! i hope you, my faithful readers if i have any, understand Sartre because you might get me wrong hehe! buti na lang naayos ko na yung car sticker thing ng kotse namin, pero wala yung mga tao na may stickers, kasi nasa thingy ni Cardinal Sin -- the dead guy (if you dont know hehe) my gf just texted, her kuya told her na "babies daw niya yun [computers]." yeah, astig ang mga kuya niya, mga CS majors ata lahat e, medyo nakaka-relate ako, ako ren i suppose, i won't "throw away" my computers, hehe... iiwan ko lang yung mga iyon sa bahay, most probably tumatakbo pa ren! hehehe! worst case na yung ibenta ko yung mga parts or the whole thing, hehe kasi baka may sobrang uber pc out there, astig nga pala linux, hehe! random thought, a random geek thought, oh this is a site for you people, sick geek jokes, dang i cant find it! oh there! http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/06/23/1617255&tid=133&tid=4 hahaha! have fun, para ito sa mga taong bored :D oh my girlfriend went online hehe... bye for now

monday - my HS brother and i got picked up late from school, he was wet from the rain for he went looking for me in Xavier Hall, coincidentally i also went to the High School Administration Building! also, the paper for philo really took out every enthusiasm from my body

tuesday - my girlfriend got mad at me because i was drenched in perspiration! (i played basketball with the "team", and only two of them came, along with Jopoy and Marc) well, i understand because she's, well, concerned :D i feel i got a low score in my theology quiz, i missed some of the key points of the reading

wednesday - nothing much happened

thursday - i accidentally broke a friend's keychain, it was some-kind-of-a-stress-ball-thing but i accidentally "tore" it fromt the "chain" oh well sometimes i am a bit careless and stupid, i feel unsure of my computer graphics programming quiz, even though it was SUPPOSEDLY easy, well i kind-of copied from my seat mates, and we were comparing answers! ha!

friday - after my ph103 quiz, i suppose i failed again, yeah winning streak! *sarcasm* well so there, so far its 5pm, i'm going to my brother's uhm.. thing in HS, i think its a salu-salo :D i hope to eat good food there, but i'm too lazy to go though

apart from that, whenever i look at Colayco Hall, which is now being demolished bit by bit, i feel a certain "sadness" if you may. "sayang ang mga maliligayang araw" hahaha! damn, i'm feeling a bit sentimental, even though i only stayed in that building for 2 years or so, well, good bye Colayco, you have been good to me

house-stuff, i feel i'm becoming indifferent, my heart transforming to stone, well, i suppose when you really hate someone, as you might have read in my past entries, some way, some how a person becomes indifferent, oh well, in tagalog "walang-paki" yes, wala na akong paki sa kanya :D oh well i'll let him be, i hope he is TRULY happy with the things he is doing (and unfortunately his decisions have a bearing in the family) well, he said before he's going to "buy" happiness -- well, if you're THAT old, and you stil don't know what true happiness means -- well kawawa ka naman -- because happiness cannot be bought! you have to find it within yourself, and you have to learn to appreciate everything in this world, you have to have at least a person that truly loves you (and you love also).

"Wala na nga talaga ang nagmamahal sa tunay na pagkatao mo."

sometimes when i write about this, it sparks strong emotions, anyway, i'm quite amazed because i wrote another lengthy entry (in my standards because i'm not much of a writer anyway) so there!

sidenote: dang! detroit lost! i wish detroit crushed san antonio (revenge for phoenix's loss) hehe! i'm a phoenix fan, a steve nash fan :D

last june 18, was our 22nd monthsary with my gf :D two months to go!

dabyu b

erpoi818

tinatamad na ako, ngayon pa lang, buti na lang mababait mga guro ko

but still, tinatamad pa rin ako, in-born ata 'toh e


erpoi818

today, i reached my school at around 6am! yeah, i had to if i didn't want to commute (because of my high school brother and grade school teacher sister), well, the wait was kinda boring, but it was ok, i talked with a friend -- teddy, he's a funny, kind guy :D (i wasn't able to wait for borgy since i had to go "out" with my girlfriend and her siblings)

we watched madagascar.

and i didn't like it much; compared with nemo.

i hope you guys, my readers, liked it :D

erpoi818

oh, since the rain last, i dunno how many days, lagi na lang akong nagigising nang between 1am-3am for no apparent reason. weird, but at least nakakatulog ako kaagad :D yey! hopefully before the school starts, i'm back to my 5am waking up schedule, because i'll just hitch a ride with my high school brother and my grade school teacher sister :D so dang, i have to go to school early or commute going there, i feel liking hitching a ride, since it has been raining for a while now. i really have nothing to write today, i'm just pissed if the devil touches or talks to me again (you know who it is -- sana naman)

i'm quite happy with new computer hardware news, like the AMD Athlon64 FX57 (to be announced if not released in about 2 weeks), like the AMD thrashing of Intel in a dual-core stress test (and even in single-cores haha!), like the next generation of video cards to be released, G70 for nVidia, "Fudo" RS520 for ATi, the ATi's crossfire as a counterpart for nVidia's SLI and etc. yeah, i think i'm a hardware buff, but i'm not yet sure haha!

my wants:
1. AMD Athlon64 3000+ (Winchester Core)
2. MSi RS480M2-IL
3. GeCube X800XL 256mb
4. Western Digital Raptor 76.4GB 10k rpm (system drive)
5. and a larger SATA drive :D

oh well, the video card alone costs about 20k pesos! bwahaha! i don't think i'll be able to afford this for quite some time! hahaha! i build computers just for fun -- building i mean, quoting pc parts. i'm cool with doing the hands-on thing, but still, i don't want to tinker with the cpu and its hsf (heatsink, fan) i might break the really sophisticated electrical device hahaha! (shet! mahal yun), so i just use a MS Excel Workbook and quote pc parts to build "real life" pcs :D (helpful so that the system builders in computer shops won't be able to cheat you much, and you may also pick specific parts that you like hehe!)

i'm generally happy, i love the sunshine in the morning, i guess that's why i'm a morning person,, but somehow i miss the rain. rain away, rain!

erpoi818

shet, nakakatamad, ano ba itong hobby na itoh :D medyo mahirap hahaha... anyway, tinatamad pa akong mag-edit and wala pa ako sa mood, so i'll use a "generated" one muna, saka ko na i-edit lahat, most probably kapag may pasok na, so i could take advantage of my school's internet :D for now, heto muna, pag may time na ako ulit :D

oh i think idol ko na si Shikamaru :D a lazy ass, bwehehe, pero magaling :D much like every Computer Science person in my school :D

erpoi818

shet! ginising ako ng ulan, di na ako makatulog ulit